I grew up in a very accommodating setting. Our race/ethnicity is widely known for being hospitable and I can hold a party with a hundred guests without having any person in the room feel out of place because I know, being out of place is not a very good feeling.

Yes, even I have experienced being out of place; but then who hasn't? It's all a matter of what kind of host you are to your guests. But it's not just the host... it can also be the guest.


While growing up, my mother always instilled in me, to never let any person I invite home feel uncomfortable or regret that they came over because what if I was in the same situation? What if I'm in a room of strangers in a party where the host would rather run around drunk or topless or disappear to some room with someone? How would I feel?

Well, I would feel angered, distraught, regret, frustration, embarrassment and yes, I'd feel really, really out of place.

And as much as I try my best for my guests to not feel this way, I still experience being out of place in other events and gatherings and it pisses me off how people can't feel that... when someone's out of place when it's almost palpable.

The key to this is by being a good host or guest. But how, right?

Being a good host would entail you, dear reader, to know who you invite and be sensitive enough to greeting every single person in the room at least once. Starting conversation at least once before you go and introduce this person to someone else... or if he or she already knew people in the party, lead him or her to the others would be better since you can get rid of said guest quickly too. If there are gatecrashers? Treat them the same way you would a guest; more people, more fun.

Being a good guest, on the other hand, would entail you to have enough confidence in yourself to step up and introduce yourself to someone... anyone. The host not greeting you (or introducing you to anyone) is the host's fault, but if you mourn on your corner with an empty glass all night, sad to say, is something wrong about you and not anyone else's.

How hard is it, really, to just establish eye contact with someone and extend your hand to say your name? Nothing's wrong with that, you're in a party, aren't you? If you're not, then there's still something wrong with you... >__<

Being out of place doesn't happen in large parties too... someone can feel out of place in a party of 3 especially if there's only 1 common friend.

If you're the common friend, learn how to accommodate both friends and inject a general topic both can relate to. Based on experience, matters of the heart (especially when you're all broken-hearted) would be perfect. But if you're not the common friend, be the better social person by reaching out to a new friend. Doesn't it feel great to get to know a new person?

So, it all boils down to being sensitive to your surroundings. If you see another person seeming out of place, even if you're not the host, have enough decency to try to make the other feel better. If he or she still doesn't warm up to your "advances", then there's something wrong with the person. Trying always counts. Don't we always say, "at least you tried"?

And you, shy person, learn how to be open to new people; to a new environment. Not all people will approach you or would want to get to know you. You're lucky if everyone does, but sometimes, it's only right to make a move, yourself.

Labels: random blabber, socializing 101

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